Tounge Twisters and the Invisible Gohonzon

I know don't anyone who first started Nichiren experienced this, but I'm have problems doing the Recitation of the Sutra. I tried to mimic the way it's said at meeting, but it's not exactly there. I would start strong and then slow down. Also, I was try really hard to pronounce every word correctly, but I would be my tounge tied. :P Has that ever happened to anyone or is it just me? Also, when chanting & reciting, I would use an empty wall for my Gohonzon.

Worries :O

*Hi! Sorry I've been long so long! :P*

I'm worries about a couple of things:

1. I worry that I don't chant enough during my day. I chant when I get up, while waiting for school to open, before bed, etc. But, sometimes I forget to chant.

2. I worry that I'm not doing enough to be the change in my life and for the world.

Is this normal?

Buddhism and Family

I have a bit of a dilemma: I don't know how to tell my family that I'm practicing Daishonin Buddhism. You got to understand about my family, they're set in their ways (my way or the highway). I'm afraid that if I tell them, they may think that I'm going to Hell. For me, the problem is that before Buddhism, I felt that I was going to Hell. Every day, I would reflect on all the wrong I did in my life, trying to be whatever it is I was supposed to be and praying to God every night, but, it brought me no happiness; it only made me feel inferior, sad and alone. Whenever I would argue with my family about whatever, I felt that I may have failed God. One time, one argument was so bad that I woke up with a really bad panic attack at around Midnight. So, how do I tell them?

Indigo and Potatoes (or Potatos?! :P)

Today, Maiyumi and I drove to Debbie's house for the monthly SGI District meeting. There were many nice, funny people there. This month, we discussed how like when something's dipped in indigo, it deepens the color, I think, much like the Daishonin Buddhism, when we pray, study and tell others, we deepen our faith, I think. lol :D Also, it'll be this Tuesday the 78th Anniversary of the formation of the SGI. After the meeting, there was some confusion on maybe having future meetings start later or earlier and Debbie said that we're all like potatoes, being plucked from the ground and put into the pot of water (The World?). In the pot, while we're trying to get clean, we're pushing and trying to make room. I think we may have reached a compromise because all I could think about was indigo and potatoes. It was a very good meeting. :)

My Mini Me :D

Last week, I was given very good advice. I was trying to piece together how certain events in my life got me to where I am today and how to deal with it. Well, the advice I was given was to practice self-talk. So, I envisioned my five-year-old self: I have pigtails, wear overalls andwant everything in the world. My mini me would hop up and down asking, wanting or worrying about whatever and I would tell my mini me to relax, everything's fine and be reasonable with her. And she would smile and say, "Okay." What about you, do you have a mini me?

Paralells: The Buddha Geoff and Me

*I removed the previous post because it revealed too much, so here's a revision. :P*

After listening to "The Buddha, Geoff and Me." a novel by Eddy Canfor-Dumas @ abuddhistpodcast.com, I discovered that Eddy's like me and Geoff's like many important people in my life. Also, like Eddy, we both have hardships, which I believe that everyone can relate to. I believe it takes a suddenly, positive force to steer those in the right direction. So, if you've got time, listen to "The Buddha, Geoff and Me." a novel by Eddy Canfor-Dumas @ abuddhistpodcast.com. :)

Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo

Last night before I went to bed, I was still thinking about Lisa and what happened. Of course, she was still upset, rightfully so, so I told her to chant Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo whenever she feels angry, sad or anxious. I told her I do it and it makes me feel lighter. I hope she can do this, too, but in her own time. Then I thought to myself, yes we're problems right now, but deep down, we truly care about each other and hurt when the other's hurting. What do you think?

My first relaspe as a Buddhist

Well, today, my sister was trying to get home by bus, but an insensitive bus driver wouldn't let her because:

1. Her transfer expired, so she had to wait.

2. The black line of her bus ticket was scratched, so she couldn't get on.

So, I was pissed. Yes, I having difficulties with her, but she's still my blood and I don't want bad things to happen to her. The next thing I did was call MAT and used very colorful language to express my frustration. Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo didn't come into my mind, just that my sister was did wrong and the people who did it(MAT) deserved to be cussed out. Have you guys ever had a relapse and if so, how did you deal with it?

My First SGI Meeting

Today, I attended my first SGI meeting at the Omaha Community Center. Alex, one of the members, picked me up, along with Maiyumi (I think that's what her name is. I not good with names. :P) and Claude. At the beginning of the meeting, when did the Nam-Myoko-Renge-Kyo chant for 30 minutes. Then, the girls were talking about chapter 5 of President Ikeda's wife's book. (President Ideka is the head of SGI worldwide.) Then, we talked about what is happiness and what is unhappiness. My first meeting was really nice and the people are really friendly and funny. :)

The Buddha, Geoff and Me

I just finished listening to "The Buddha, Geoff and Me" through abuddhistpodcast.com. It's a beautiful story about Eddy, who lost his job and girlfriend, who meets Geoff, who teaches Eddy about Buddhism. Towards the end, I won't spoil it, but I began to become sad because this story parallels my own, even the characters of Geoff, who reminds me of my late dad and Eddy, who reminds me of me. If anyone has a free moment, check out, "The Buddha, Geoff and Me" @ abuddhistpost.com

Sorry :P

Sorry for being gone awhile. I've started Phase 3 which is Illustrator with a new instructor, I've started to study the teachings of Japanese Buddhist Nichiren Daishonin (http://www.guidestud.org/, http://abuddhistpodcast.com/) and of course the election. Maybe I'll talk more when things calm down. :)