Moments & Lifetimes

Tonight, I went to Maiyumi's Graduation party at Nina's house. It was so much fun. Everyone met Maiyumi's family who flew in from Japan. The family dog, Sheba, was there, but she was good, mainly plotting how to get some food. :D I met other SGI members, including a little boy named Skylar, who loves to tease his older sister by playing with her hair. We did Gongyo with Maiyumi's father leading us and Maiyumi opened her present that everyone gave her. I gave her a card with a Tiger's Eye cat shaped necklace inside. It was such a wonderful party that I was sad to leave. It made me forget about my current problems for a while. I think that's the real reason for a party: to bring people together to celebrate and forget one's troubles for a bit. And I think that people don't want a party to end is because it has moments that you wish would last forever.

Short Story: A Wish on the Last Full Moon

*This short story was inspired my my G.A.D. Instructor, Tim McDonald, and granddaughter, Maggie and her dog Rena.*

*This short story was inspired my my G.A.D. Instructor, Tim McDonald, and granddaughter, Maggie and her dog Rena.*

“A Wish on the Last Full Moon”

A little girl named Maggie is with her grandfather, Tim, looking at the night sky on their ranch in Montana. The sky is so clear, especially in the country side. The stars shined like an infinite sea of diamonds as Maggie tries to count every one.

“Grandpa, there’s so many!” Maggie exclaims.

“Well, the universe is a big place. You can count the stars every night, you can’t count them all.” Tim explained.

“Where did the stars come from?” Maggie asked her dog and faithful companion, Rena, came up to them.

“Well, some say that it’s the angels while others say it’s the big bang theory, no one really knows.”

“Wow, the moon is so pretty!” Maggie said in awe.

“That’s a special moon; it’s the last full moon of the year.”

“The last full moon of the year?”

“Yes. They say if you make a wish on the last full moon of the year, your wish will come true.”

“Did you make a wish, grandpa?”

“Yes. Years ago.”

“Did it come true?”

“Yes, but not right away. Sometimes, the wish will come true right away or take a little while.”

“What was your wish?”

“Ah, I can’t tell you. If you tell your wish, it won’t come true.”

“Maggie, Dad, dinner!” Maggie’s mother called

“We better go in and eat.” Time said as he and Maggie walked to the house, hand in hand with Rena not too far behind.

It was Maggie’s bedtime. She was in her bed with Rena next to her on the floor. She woke up and began to look up at the full moon, thinking about what her grandpa said. Still looking at the moon, she made a wish and then she heard an odd sound coming from outside. She and Rena tiptoed downstairs and went outside to the sound

Suddenly, Maggie saw an owl, but no ordinary owl. It was all white with a golden vest and sparkling violet-red eyes and it was big, bigger than Maggie and Rena combined. Maggie, unafraid, walked up and petted the owl, who lowered its head. Without know it, Maggie had climbed on the owl’s back and so had Rena. Then, the owl with Maggie and Rena in tow, flew up into the sky and reached outer space.

Maggie couldn’t believe her eyes. Before her was a myriad of stars and planets as far as the eye can see. Her grandpa was right; she could count every night, but not count every one. The stars were so close that it felt as if she could almost touch them. Maggie continued to look as the feeling of sleep caused her to lay down on the owl’s soft back and drift into the realm of dreams.

It was morning as Maggie began to wake up with Rena coming up on the bed and giving Maggie good morning kisses. She was wiping the sleep out of her eyes when she noticed a white and gold owl’s feature next to her pillow. Maggie smiled and hugged Rena as she looked at the feather, happy that her wished came true: to fly with her best friends and her spirit guide to the stars.



The End

Little Feet & Spirit Fingers

Yesterday was my first Sunday meeting at the SGI in Omaha. There was a lot of people, including some of the member's kids who ran around, sat with there parents or played in the playroom. We watch President Ikeda speaking to a group of students on video. The person who announced was a tad bit too excited, even President Ikeda told him to calm down. :) The announcer kind of reminds me of a sports announcer. Also, Katie explained to me the difference between jazzhands and spirit fingers. Jazzhands are like a frantic wave while spirit fingers are like typing on an invisible keyboard.

Barefeet and Jazzhands

Last night, the youth division of SGI Omaha met to discuss ideas for the new year's celebration. Some are doing a tree containing the leaves of our SGI members while others are doing a dance. Towards the end, I went to have a sneak peek of rehearses. I won't spoil anything, but everyone was barefooted and their routine will include jazzhands. I think this will be a great new year's celebration.

Cousin Rufus

This may be a little strange, but sometimes whenever I hear kosen-rufu, or world peace, I would think that someone is saying, "Cousin Rufus". The first few times I heard it, I was like, "Who's Cousin Rufus?" Has that ever happened to any of you guys.

Tounge Twisters and the Invisible Gohonzon

I know don't anyone who first started Nichiren experienced this, but I'm have problems doing the Recitation of the Sutra. I tried to mimic the way it's said at meeting, but it's not exactly there. I would start strong and then slow down. Also, I was try really hard to pronounce every word correctly, but I would be my tounge tied. :P Has that ever happened to anyone or is it just me? Also, when chanting & reciting, I would use an empty wall for my Gohonzon.

Worries :O

*Hi! Sorry I've been long so long! :P*

I'm worries about a couple of things:

1. I worry that I don't chant enough during my day. I chant when I get up, while waiting for school to open, before bed, etc. But, sometimes I forget to chant.

2. I worry that I'm not doing enough to be the change in my life and for the world.

Is this normal?

Buddhism and Family

I have a bit of a dilemma: I don't know how to tell my family that I'm practicing Daishonin Buddhism. You got to understand about my family, they're set in their ways (my way or the highway). I'm afraid that if I tell them, they may think that I'm going to Hell. For me, the problem is that before Buddhism, I felt that I was going to Hell. Every day, I would reflect on all the wrong I did in my life, trying to be whatever it is I was supposed to be and praying to God every night, but, it brought me no happiness; it only made me feel inferior, sad and alone. Whenever I would argue with my family about whatever, I felt that I may have failed God. One time, one argument was so bad that I woke up with a really bad panic attack at around Midnight. So, how do I tell them?

Indigo and Potatoes (or Potatos?! :P)

Today, Maiyumi and I drove to Debbie's house for the monthly SGI District meeting. There were many nice, funny people there. This month, we discussed how like when something's dipped in indigo, it deepens the color, I think, much like the Daishonin Buddhism, when we pray, study and tell others, we deepen our faith, I think. lol :D Also, it'll be this Tuesday the 78th Anniversary of the formation of the SGI. After the meeting, there was some confusion on maybe having future meetings start later or earlier and Debbie said that we're all like potatoes, being plucked from the ground and put into the pot of water (The World?). In the pot, while we're trying to get clean, we're pushing and trying to make room. I think we may have reached a compromise because all I could think about was indigo and potatoes. It was a very good meeting. :)

My Mini Me :D

Last week, I was given very good advice. I was trying to piece together how certain events in my life got me to where I am today and how to deal with it. Well, the advice I was given was to practice self-talk. So, I envisioned my five-year-old self: I have pigtails, wear overalls andwant everything in the world. My mini me would hop up and down asking, wanting or worrying about whatever and I would tell my mini me to relax, everything's fine and be reasonable with her. And she would smile and say, "Okay." What about you, do you have a mini me?

Paralells: The Buddha Geoff and Me

*I removed the previous post because it revealed too much, so here's a revision. :P*

After listening to "The Buddha, Geoff and Me." a novel by Eddy Canfor-Dumas @ abuddhistpodcast.com, I discovered that Eddy's like me and Geoff's like many important people in my life. Also, like Eddy, we both have hardships, which I believe that everyone can relate to. I believe it takes a suddenly, positive force to steer those in the right direction. So, if you've got time, listen to "The Buddha, Geoff and Me." a novel by Eddy Canfor-Dumas @ abuddhistpodcast.com. :)

Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo

Last night before I went to bed, I was still thinking about Lisa and what happened. Of course, she was still upset, rightfully so, so I told her to chant Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo whenever she feels angry, sad or anxious. I told her I do it and it makes me feel lighter. I hope she can do this, too, but in her own time. Then I thought to myself, yes we're problems right now, but deep down, we truly care about each other and hurt when the other's hurting. What do you think?

My first relaspe as a Buddhist

Well, today, my sister was trying to get home by bus, but an insensitive bus driver wouldn't let her because:

1. Her transfer expired, so she had to wait.

2. The black line of her bus ticket was scratched, so she couldn't get on.

So, I was pissed. Yes, I having difficulties with her, but she's still my blood and I don't want bad things to happen to her. The next thing I did was call MAT and used very colorful language to express my frustration. Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo didn't come into my mind, just that my sister was did wrong and the people who did it(MAT) deserved to be cussed out. Have you guys ever had a relapse and if so, how did you deal with it?

My First SGI Meeting

Today, I attended my first SGI meeting at the Omaha Community Center. Alex, one of the members, picked me up, along with Maiyumi (I think that's what her name is. I not good with names. :P) and Claude. At the beginning of the meeting, when did the Nam-Myoko-Renge-Kyo chant for 30 minutes. Then, the girls were talking about chapter 5 of President Ikeda's wife's book. (President Ideka is the head of SGI worldwide.) Then, we talked about what is happiness and what is unhappiness. My first meeting was really nice and the people are really friendly and funny. :)

The Buddha, Geoff and Me

I just finished listening to "The Buddha, Geoff and Me" through abuddhistpodcast.com. It's a beautiful story about Eddy, who lost his job and girlfriend, who meets Geoff, who teaches Eddy about Buddhism. Towards the end, I won't spoil it, but I began to become sad because this story parallels my own, even the characters of Geoff, who reminds me of my late dad and Eddy, who reminds me of me. If anyone has a free moment, check out, "The Buddha, Geoff and Me" @ abuddhistpost.com

Sorry :P

Sorry for being gone awhile. I've started Phase 3 which is Illustrator with a new instructor, I've started to study the teachings of Japanese Buddhist Nichiren Daishonin (http://www.guidestud.org/, http://abuddhistpodcast.com/) and of course the election. Maybe I'll talk more when things calm down. :)

What I don't like >:P

I don't like judgemental, criticial people who force everyone around them to change. For example, in Alabama, there's a "Fat Tax", simply put, you don't lose weight, you pay more taxes. I understand the need for it to combat the ever-growing obestiy problem in this country, but here are the problem I have with it:

1. Forced conformity.
2. If people are unable to lose weight, they will feel ostrictzied for being unable to comply with the new law.
3. The after affects when people lose weight. They'll view those who are overweight as subhuman, forgetting that they we're overweight themselves.

What Alabama needs to do is gather the citizens together and come up with alternative solutions that can help its people and not make overweight citizens feel like outcasts in their own communities.

Bad Day :(

Today was awful and I didn't plan on it being awful. It felt as if everyone's on my case; some for my benefit and others because they can't look past my mistakes. I feel that I can't make mistakes, that I have to be perfect. I always felt this way since I was little because I feared displeasing people. Well, I did everything that people ask and they're still displeased with me.

WoB - beyond facebook.

Hey, I'm okay now. I settled what I needed to do. I've been thinking, I would like to see the World of Blood games, what I used to play on Facebook, be made into video games. They're fun, addictive and have compelling story lines.

Afraid

I'm afraid to file for bankruptcy because it'll be another mistake that people will point out and it'll come back to haunt. All my life, I felt I had to be perfect because whenever I would make a mistake, people would make me feel ashamed by bringing up past mistakes or comparing me to others, making me feel inferior.

The Right Decision (?)

Am I making the right decision filing bankruptcy? I feel as if its another bad decision that'll return to haunt me someday. I feel like such a failure; I messed on day one when I agreed to get a credit card. I didn't want to because I knew that this would happen and I was right. I feel so stupid; as if I'm never smart enough to make decisions where it counts. I feel like I don't have one inkling of independent thought because if I did, everything would be different. :...(

How did I get here?

I keep thinking to myself, how did I come to this point: filing bankruptcy. Then, I think back to 2003 when I got my first Capital One Visa credit card. I didn't want to, but my mom thought that it would be a good idea. Instead, it became the catalyst for misery and heartbreak. And I keep thinking, if I didn't listen to my mom and get that card, everything would be extremely different. But, I blame myself because I didn't listen to my own instincts instead of listening to everyone else. Follow your instincts; if something's a bad idea, DON'T DO IT! I wish I had all those years ago.

Strange Days

Yesterday and today are tough. I feel as if my world is falling down around me and I try to keep everything together, but failing at it. I'm filing for bankruptcy because I can't keep up with my bills. I feel angry and sad at myself because at the beginning of this year, I was going to be debt free. I guess it wasn't meant to be, like a whole lot of things in my life. So, the questions is, where do you go when your world is gone and there's nothing left but despair?

Sad Day

Today is the nine year anniversary of my father's death. It was sudden; he died of a heart attack. Today is going to be difficult. :(

Should I or Shouldn't I?

I've been plaque with a very difficult decision and I decided to do it because this have been hard and I tried doing it on my own, but couldn't do it. I'll let you know what happens. :)

The Miracle (And Madness) Of Swag A.K.A. My First Buy The Big O!

Okay, I'm here, so it means that I've survived today! :D My first Buy The Big O! was fun; it was like an amusement park for businesses: it had booths, free samples, swag, prizes, seminars and information about the business. Also, like an amusement park, we forgot where we parked! :P Also, I had my job interview today at Gamers, so cross your fingers that I got the job. All in all, a good day. :D

Crazy Day Ahead!

Today is going to be nuts! I have Buy The Big O! and my job interview today. If you don't hear from me, I've passed out! :P

Sleepless Night

I didn't get a good night's sleep. It's because I'm worried about, well, everything: we're were going, what'll happen in the future, will mankind survive, etc. I got class today, then going to Buy the Big O! at the Qwest Center with my classmates tomorrow.

Numb Fingers

My fingers are now numb from putting photos on my flickr account (flickr.com/nyataylor). :P

My First Bloggers Blog

Hello, this is my first blog at Blooger.com. I don't really to say at the moment because this week will be busy with school and job hunting. Maybe when the week winds down, I'll write another blog. See you then. :)