The Mistakes List

This morning while chanting, I started to write down a list of mistakes I've made in the hopes that I finally learn from them and grow as a people. Anyone can make a list of their own if they want. Here's mine:

Mistake I've made and must NEVER repeat:
1. Getting credit.
2. Overspending.
3. Buying things that I won't use as much and selling them two weeks later.
4. Giving money, even though I need it.
5. Eating other people's food. (At home. :P)
6. Not knowing where to put stuiff and not asking.
7. Talking first, thinking later.
8. Not saving money.
9. Not listening.
10. Comparing myself to others.
11. Not following my instincts.
12. Perfectionism.
13. Warped ideas of what should be according to everyone else.
14. Being taken advantage of.
15. Not taking care of me.
16. Always caring what others think.
17. Always making assumptions.
18. Going to and relying on check cashing places.
19. Going to and relying on loans and credit cards.
20 Getting what I WANT instead of what I NEED.
21. Not being grateful for what I already got.
And Finally...
NOT LEARNING FROM MY MISTAKES!!!!

Well, that's my list. What do you think? :)

Afraid

I'm afraid to file for bankruptcy because it'll be another mistake that people will point out and it'll come back to haunt. All my life, I felt I had to be perfect because whenever I would make a mistake, people would make me feel ashamed by bringing up past mistakes or comparing me to others, making me feel inferior.

The Right Decision (?)

Am I making the right decision filing bankruptcy? I feel as if its another bad decision that'll return to haunt me someday. I feel like such a failure; I messed on day one when I agreed to get a credit card. I didn't want to because I knew that this would happen and I was right. I feel so stupid; as if I'm never smart enough to make decisions where it counts. I feel like I don't have one inkling of independent thought because if I did, everything would be different. :...(